Sunday, September 10, 2017

a selfish person I am

What life has gotten me these past few days really surprised me in so many ways. I've never think of this and that could happen within time. Like usual, i've got so many things to tell you guys but i really couldn't squeeze onto my schedule the time to keep on updating my blog, on time. How sad. I wish i could be really wise to make sure everyone's know what happen to me.

But the important things i wanted to blog about today is about my dearest friend, Nur Samihah.

And for your information, she's one of the people who still, kept on reading my blog posts and if you ever happen to come across to this post Samihah, i just wanted to let you know that i am seriously missing you right now. I hope you're doing well and would never give up on what's life has in the store for you. Life wasn't that hard, Samihah. You got me, you got us and not to forget, innallaha ma'ana.

Maybe, by the time you read this it's either you're on your way to achieve your biggest dream you always told us, Izzah Huda and I or probably you are on your third year in medic.

Yeap.

Alhamdulillah, she's going to further her studies in Medic at Alexandria. Tahniah Samihah sayang. I am so proud with you, Izzah Huda too. Everyone does. We were extremely happy for you, because you deserve this. Allah knows what best for you, lambat atau cepat. The time will come.

So this one night, I was with my friend, Syahirah, were randomly chit-chatting talking about you and I suddenly

"Eh, jom call Samihah nak?"

"Jom"

Tut, tut...

Tut, tut....

"Assalamualaikum!!!!!" people who i've always called know how excited and happy I am when giving a salam.

"Hows your day?"

"What are you doing?"

and i came up to this one question, eagerly to know the answer...

"So, what is your decision for the offer letter you got the other day?"

....

"How was it?"

"Weh Nada......"

um, yea?

"I think i'm going."

1 second.

4 seconds.

7 seconds.

"SERIOUSLAAAA??????!!!!!!"

"Ye weh, Insyaallah!!"

So what should i feel now, Samihah?

I was so happy for you. But at the same time, I...... am sad.

"Tu lah, nanti kau dah tak boleh la nak cari aku."

Cried.

I cried blood.

I hate you for telling me the sad truth.

Since I was in primary school, up to my secondary school days and even until now. Kalau ada apa2 masalah and i can reach her, i will find and come to her. To cry. I love her so much that i didn't want to let her go. But doesn't want to be a selfish person I am, I wouldn't do that. To see her so happy getting the letter and go around asking people on how was it, whether she should accept it or not, making me feeling all excited for her. We've been friends for 7 years for now, and 'till Jannah Insyallah. We = Samihah + Izzah Huda + Nada. I love the two of them so much. They got a really special place in the compartment of my heart. Like really. They were so special that I didn't even know how to tell you guys. Words really can't describe my feeling for having them in my life.

I just love them so much. Lillahi ta'ala.

I wanted to grow old together with them. Seeing one's getting married, having a child, laughing together as a grandparents and brag about our grandchild with each other. I wanted to be with them in the life hereafter. I wanted to make sure, we'll do anything in this temporary Dunya for us to be together as a neighbors in Jannah.

4.04am

Friday, June 2, 2017

New Experience

I really can't make it to update my last post.

I really couldn't make it, guys. I've been busy with some commitments because in just 2 days, I'll be leaving my dearly mama & abah 😓😓 I could probably even die missing them too much. My lovely and my first ever cinta hati, my katil. My room, and literally everything that i have to leave them behind 😷 To think about it, make it even worst. I've done packing about 40% of my stuffs?? Tu pun malas nak kemas pastu bagi alasan tak sampai seru lagi. padahal taknak pegi sebenarnya

I've never been away from home without my parents. Seriously. Since I was in tadika and primary school (obviously nope) to my secondary school & upper secondary school, I am that 'budak harian' yang ulang alik dari rumah ke sekolah. Paling lama pernah keluar rumah masa kem jelah 😞😞 tu pun memang tak lebih dari 3 hari 2 malam. Pun dah rindu mama abah.


I applied for UPU tapi Allah kata tak ada rezeki, jadi Nada tak dapat UPU. I made the rayuan for UPU but the results came out in August, maybe? I'm not sure. Last year, abah asked me to apply for Matrikulasi and I did. I am glad I did. And masa keputusan permohonan matrikulasi keluar, I clicked the 'Terima Tawaran' button. Just in case. Allah knows best. I also made rayuan for UIA like what my friend, Izzah Huda told me to. Tapi mungkin nak tunggu tu lama sebab terus direct hantar ke pejabat UIA, Pj. Tapi lepastu Izzah cakap yang sebenarnya kena hantar ke UIA, Gombak. Idk. Kalau ada rezeki, Insyaallah.

Why UIA? Sebab dari tahun SPM lagi bercita2 sangat nak masuk UIA. Why? Just because.

Masa mula2 Nada dapat tau tak dapat UPU, I was questioning why? Kenapa my friend yang result lagi rendah than me dapat UPU? (tak baik kan) (don't make comparison like this people) (please) But then, it just not my rezeki and my rezeki adalah untuk masuk matriks. Well at least, I could change my perspective & way of thinking. Matriks, Politeknik, Tingkatan 6, Asasi, Diploma, Sijil & others, were the same. Alhamdulillah. Allah knows best, it is.

Few days 'till my hari pendaftaran, I have mixed feelings. I am excited untuk sambung belajar semula but at the same time rasa takut terfikir nanti macam mana suasana dekat sana??? Dapat roommate yang baik ke tak? Perangai sama ke atau yang tak best? Kawan2 dekat sana nanti macam mana? Classmates? Boleh ngam ke tak? Cikgu2 kat sana nanti (i read few blog posts about matriks yang Nada nak pergi ni and it says yang kat sana nanti tak panggil Ms., Madam, Dr. etc but cikgu) (how cute rite) ajar laju ke tak? The environment. Subject nanti Nada boleh carry ke tak? Macam2 terfikir. But all i have to do, strive for the best. Nanti dapat sambung degree tempat yang best, tempat yang Nada nak. Insyaallah, aamiin.

Like every year, every day, I hope I could make my parents proud of me.

Matriks mana? Aha. You guys have to wait! Semoga post seterusnya, I could write & post something to tell you guys how was it. Doakan Nada yang baik2! Doakan Nada terus cemerlang & istiqamah.


Talk to you guys later, adios!